Trying to Understand Depression

TRYING TO UNDERSTAND DEPRESSION

Depression swallows you whole. It wraps itself around you, holding you so tight that you can hardly breathe. Recently I read "Alone By Myself." It is the diary of Melanie Woss, a teenager who lost her battle with depression. Melanie defines depression as the "inability to see the positive side of anything."

A person who suffers from depression feels confused, misunderstood and beaten. Life isn’t black or white or grey to the sufferer but multi coloured, complexed and overwhelming. It cannot be conquered by the "push on, be positive" attitude that outsiders wish to condone. Depression is endured until you push through the top of the water, hungry for breath. As you ascend to a standing position your hair slaps your back, you feel the penetrating sun on your shoulders and acknowledge that life can be deliciously enjoyable also.

Depression unrecognized or ignored can manifest into a wave cycle of ups and downs. The sufferer endures emotional pain and melancholy which can take the form of escapism. Sleeping, watching TV, consuming large quantities of food and alcohol, exercising excessively, showering or bathing often, refusing to leave the house and chain smoking can all be used as vices to enable the sufferer to escape his/her own thoughts. Suddenly the symptoms cease, the fogginess subsides and the sufferer feels clear again until the next intrusive bout.

You begin to consciously divide your life into segments of "good weeks" and "bad weeks." I I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager. I have been prescribed various anti-depressant drugs and I have read countless books and articles on depression searching for answers and solace.

I believe that they all have their benefits but I don’t believe that I am cured or ever will be. Depression is an illness like alcoholism and should be treated as such. Lifestyle choices may help to ease symptoms or ignite them yet no specific approach promises guaranteed results. If depression wants to consume you, it will. Invading the sufferer with loneliness no matter what measure they take to avoid its clutches.

Society has to be continually educated on mental illness. Children and teenagers have to be taught that "stress" exists. Extra guidance and support should be readily available to students at exam time. Humankind has to adopt an attitude that helps sufferers instead of an attitude that places judgment and labelling on these individuals.

If one absorbs themselves in doing the things they love it can help to combat depression. One can forget about themselves and therefore release themselves from a depressed state. Depression can act as a fertile soil giving one the power to turn misery into brilliance, I know this to be true with creativity. Some of my best projects have been born out of the womb of depression.

"I am depression, depression is me." I once wrote. In retrospect I feel a great sadness that those words represented my voice. At the time they spoke my truth, they were the house in which I lived.

When you suffer from depression you feel estranged from people, almost estranged from the whole world. You feel that you are alone with yourself, by yourself and that is a very frightening space to be in.

What is the solution? Who knows the answers?

Do "we" the sufferers of depression start with ourselves?

Do "we" find ways to cope with this uninvited imposter?

How can we start with ourselves when depression "is" ourselves a lot of the time?

I cannot answer my own questions about this illness nor can I answer anyone else’s. I can only speak from my own experience. I pray for heightened awareness amongst people. The more knowledge each individual possesses about this subject the better equipped we will be as a society to combat its effects.

Be gentle on the tortured soul, for his or her wings are immobile right now. Give them time, understanding and acknowledgement of their feelings. Please accept their condition.

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		TRYING TO UNDERSTAND DEPRESSION Depression swallows you whole. It wraps itself around you, holding you so tight that you can hardly breathe. Recently I read "Alone By Myself." It is the diary of Melanie Woss, a teenager who lost her battle with depression. Melanie defines depression as the "inability to see the positive side of anything." A person who suffers from depression feels confused, misunderstood and beaten. Life isn’t black or white or grey to the sufferer but multi coloured, complexed and overwhelming. It cannot be conquered by the "push on, be positive" attitude that outsiders wish to condone. Depression is endured until you push through the top of the water, hungry for breath. As you ascend to a standing position your hair slaps your back, you feel the penetrating sun on your shoulders and acknowledge that life can be deliciously enjoyable also. Depression unrecognized or ignored can manifest into a wave cycle of ups and downs. The sufferer endures emotional pain and melancholy which can take the form of escapism. Sleeping, watching TV, consuming large quantities of food and alcohol, exercising excessively, showering or bathing often, refusing to leave the house and chain smoking can all be used as vices to enable the sufferer to escape his/her own thoughts. Suddenly the symptoms cease, the fogginess subsides and the sufferer feels clear again until the next intrusive bout. You begin to consciously divide your life into segments of "good weeks" and "bad weeks." I I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager. I have been prescribed various anti-depressant drugs and I have read countless books and articles on depression searching for answers and solace. I believe that they all have their benefits but I don’t believe that I am cured or ever will be. Depression is an illness like alcoholism and should be treated as such. Lifestyle choices may help to ease symptoms or ignite them yet no specific approach promises guaranteed results. If depression wants to consume you, it will. Invading the sufferer with loneliness no matter what measure they take to avoid its clutches. Society has to be continually educated on mental illness. Children and teenagers have to be taught that "stress" exists. Extra guidance and support should be readily available to students at exam time. Humankind has to adopt an attitude that helps sufferers instead of an attitude that places judgment and labelling on these individuals. If one absorbs themselves in doing the things they love it can help to combat depression. One can forget about themselves and therefore release themselves from a depressed state. Depression can act as a fertile soil giving one the power to turn misery into brilliance, I know this to be true with creativity. Some of my best projects have been born out of the womb of depression. "I am depression, depression is me." I once wrote. In retrospect I feel a great sadness that those words represented my voice. At the time they spoke my truth, they were the house in which I lived. When you suffer from depression you feel estranged from people, almost estranged from the whole world. You feel that you are alone with yourself, by yourself and that is a very frightening space to be in. What is the solution? Who knows the answers? Do "we" the sufferers of depression start with ourselves? Do "we" find ways to cope with this uninvited imposter? How can we start with ourselves when depression "is" ourselves a lot of the time? I cannot answer my own questions about this illness nor can I answer anyone else’s. I can only speak from my own experience. I pray for heightened awareness amongst people. The more knowledge each individual possesses about this subject the better equipped we will be as a society to combat its effects. Be gentle on the tortured soul, for his or her wings are immobile right now. Give them time, understanding and acknowledgement of their feelings. Please accept their condition. back to Writings index © 2003 Vanessa de Largie